Thank you Father for your generosity to us, and reassuring us when we waver. Thank you all for your continued thoughts and prayers.
I didn’t post last week. I usually post on Sunday, but last Sunday was a tough day as were the following couple of days, so I didn’t get to it. A week ago last Thursday, Theresa received her final dose of Perjeta. For the previous three cycles, she didn’t have any major side effects, just a blip and kept on going. But this time the day after her treatment, she started getting very fatigued. Saturday night she went to bed a 8pm and didn’t get up until 2pm on Sunday. She could have slept all day into the next. She felt like her body was lead, and it was an effort just to move. This past Tuesday she started coming out of it and was able to spend more time up. She has been able to participate in some activities, but they pretty much wipe her out. She is slowly getting out of her chair more and more. We hadn’t experienced this profound fatigue since she was first diagnosed. We both were worried this meant her cancer was back full force. We had a few days of wavering, but as she improved, we are more reassured. I guess she could have have the fatigue a few other times, but it wasn’t as obvious because she was having such severe side effects from the Chemo. Her pain was so severe that she wouldn’t have been able to sleep while she was getting chemo. This is part of the roller coaster of cancer. We were able to do some shopping yesterday and Theresa came to Church today. I pray for continued improvement, strength and the energy to be interested in exercising. (we have a couple trips planned, that there can be a bit of walking).
Theresa is now only going to get Herceptin for the next 18 months, at least that is the current plan. Instead of getting a liver and breast MRI, our Oncologist is going to do a PET scan at the end of the month to look for residual cancer. He is waiting until Perjeta has had its full effect. In July we will find out the results, which will show us which direction we will take next.
For me the interesting thing is how quickly we adapt and convince ourselves all is well. The diagnosis of metastatic cancer definitely threw us for a loop and the first month was full of pain and anguish, then we got into the cycle of treatment and clinical evidence of improvement. Initially, we were living day to day, then started thinking a few months out, then planning a few years out. Somehow we convinced ourselves that all would be well. This episode of fatigue brought back to mind that nothing is guaranteed and that each day is a gift. We struggle with seeing God’s will and not our own, and being able to tell the difference. We would love to see Theresa healed and live to see the future events in the lives of our kids, and we know many of you have been praying for her healing. You have helped carry us through all this. But we don’t know the mind of God. We don’t know the future. We don’t know if we will have tears of joy or tears of sadness and pain. Yes God can heal her, but has He?, will He?, and what trials do we yet have to persevere through? We don’t know his mind nor will we claim to. This is a journey of faith. We are to surrender all, all our wishes, hopes, desires. We are to seek Him, thank Him, be obedient at all times. And He meets us here, comforts, and sustains us. “God means it unto good for you, beloved, The God of Joseph is the same today; His love permits afflictions strange and bitter, His hand is guiding through the unknown way. Your Lord, who sees the end from the beginning, Has purposes for you of love untold. Then place your hand in His and follow fearless, Till you the riches of His grace behold.” – two verses of the poem God Meant it unto Good (Gen 50:20) by Freda Hanbury Allen
Thank you for walking with us and holding us up in prayer. We will forever be changed knowing we have such a wealth of friends, brothers and sisters in Christ, and the favor of God in our lives.