Thank you Father for your love, for hope, and peace that passes all understanding. Thank you all for your continued interest.
Much has happened since my last blog. With the COVID-19 outbreak all the kids are home now and the house is much busier. For a while we were needing to wash dishes once a week, now back to daily. We are having to go shopping for food more. Mom had us over 3-4 times a week to eat, but with the pandemic, we have curtailed that to keep mom from having to go to the store as often as she was going. The kids are taking turns with me in preparing meals. It has been good to have them all home. The nights and weekends have become full. Though with the two week stay at home order, we have to be creative on how to enjoy the spring break. Summer jobs for the kids have become a concern with the possibility of a contracted economy.
With the current outbreak and its associated disability and death rate more people will be grieving. As a country we have been insulated from much of what the world goes through. Malaria, Tuberculosis, diarrhea diseases, other infectious diseases, appendicitis, and many other disease processes cut lives short on a regular basis. Add to that starvation, wars, and governmental policies and many lives are cut short in all age groups. Loss affects a large percentage of people at any one time, and all of us at some point. How we deal with loss is individual, with different times in stages and lasting a variable amount of time. Some can get back to living, while others struggle to live again without a deep sense of loss.
Part of the grieving process is wanting to live in the past, focus on memories, on what we had, holding on. It is also recognizing the emptiness left, that was satisfyingly filled by the one we lost. Another aspect of grieving a loss of a spouse, includes fear and anxiety. There are many possible fears: fear of forgetting, of financial stability, of doing life alone as a parent, fear of emptiness. Even if you are a strong person, you realize your strength came partially from that relationship and now you find yourself in a situation you never saw yourself being in.
At some point the healing process has progressed such that you have more good days than difficult days. For me the healing process includes talking with God and journaling my prayers and letters to Theresa. It is also recognizing what is going on in me, my feelings, my thoughts and the chaotic nature of both.
Phillip Yancy writes, “Jesus offered no immunity, no way out of the unfairness, but rather a way through to the other side. The three day pattern (Easter). – tragedy, darkness, triumph – became for the New Testament writers a template that can be applied to all times of testing. The danger of all dangers would be to lose trust and confidence in the mercy of God”. J.W. Alexander says, “Each instant of present labor is to be graciously repaid with a million ages of glory.” Two other quotes: “Our problems are opportunities to discover God’s solutions”, “When God permits suffering, He also provides comfort”. Philippians 2:13 “For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him.”
God is good. We have to trust him in the process. I pray that God gives you comfort in this difficult time in this Pandemic. May you stand firm in your faith and recognize God’s comfort in difficult times.