Thank you all for your specific prayers, thoughts and concerns. Thank you for the nice comments as well. Thank you LORD for sustaining us.
Well as I posted last week, Theresa did well with chemo and all seemed to go well until about Monday night and then the abdominal symptoms, nausea, lack of appetite, and profound fatigue showed up. As the week progressed so did her symptoms. On Wednesday she was so fatigued, she slept most of the day and did the same through Saturday. Theresa is a little better today, though tires out pretty quickly. I’ve realized there isn’t a pattern in the timing of symptoms, or when she will feel better or not. There is nothing that can be counted on, other than this will be a long emotional roller coaster ride, with good days followed by bad days. This doesn’t negate the praises and thanksgiving since there is always something to be thankful for, even for life itself even when just existing is a struggle. I hadn’t realized what an emotional roller coaster all of this would be. And I was naive in how it would affect me. I have known being married we are one, and her joys are my joys, her sorrows, mine. Yet the depths of this experience has been exhausting and takes a toll on my motivation, and focus. I wear out quicker than I used to, and try to get as much sleep as I can. I also have found I am more inconsistent now than I have ever been. I also find myself at times not empathetic, probably because I am exhausted. Yet at these times, when I am on my knees, my arms reach up and touch heaven (Touch the Sky Hillsong United). When I am at the end of myself, broken before Him, that He renews my heart, strength and compassion. He helps me stop focusing on myself and back on to Him and the work He has given me to do. And then I can, with a tender heart lay next to my wife rub and kiss her bald head, hold her tight and reassure her I am in this with her. I have found, times like this, show who I am, who I rely on, and what God has done in me. This roller coaster is no fun (I never liked them anyway). I am thankful to have learned how tough this road can be, and so thankful Christ walks with us, sustains us, gives us wise counsel, and fills us with His spirit so we can not just survive, but thrive. Anguish, depression, exhaustion alternate with hope, joy, and renewed energy. Up and down I go, because I am human, weak, and short sighted, but then energized and renewed by the Good Shepherd. I anticipate the next 4 months will be filled with emotions such as this and ups and downs physically. Yet knowing that you all walk with us, uphold us in prayer, help us and that God is with us, helps us persevere, be strong, and be courageous. Next Chemo is in about 10 days. Looking for a few good days until then. Thanks for walking with us.
Go bless you dear ones. Our hearts and prayers continue to hold you up.
♡ Dianna and Rod
Thanks for keeping us updated. Theresa, you, and family continue to be in our thoughts and prayers.
We are praying for you daily!! Love you guys so much!!
Wes and I pray for Theresa’s comfort, healing, strength and well-being twice daily during our family prayer time. We also pray for you, for strength and resilience, and for each of your precious children, for whatever their needs might be.
Most of all, we are grateful for your willingness to share this difficult journey. You have both been, and continue to be an inspiration to others, and a wonderful voice for the Lord.
Your unfailing faith is a testament to His abundant love and grace. It has been an encouragement to many, I am sure. So much so for me, that I have applied to a Chaplains program here in Fresno.
Keep your strength up, Dr. Paul, and know that in these situations all of us feel week, helpless, tired and lacking in some respect. Our refreshment comes from Him, his loving kindness, and the knowledge that we are loved.
We will continue to pray daily and fervently for Theresa, you and uour children.
The Lord pives you and so do we..
That should have been LOVES. ..
I’m praying for you. What is happening for you right now seems very difficult. I’m happy that you continue to post to your blog about these challenges. Your faith in God has encouraged me to evaluate my own faith and ask some difficult questions of myself. Peace and grace to you.
Continuing to send you and your family prayers!
Paul thank you for sharing your heart and journey with us. Your transparency is wonderful and helps us to know how to pray for you and Teresa and the family. I know this must be so wearing on all of you. I pray God will give you all an extra dose of grace and strength to persist on this journey. As you know – we love you and walk together with you through this chapter of your life.
Mitch
Continuing to pray for Theresa, you and the kids daily. Hoping this week will be better with more good days ahead! I love roller coasters, but not the one you’re on, wish you weren’t on it either!
I appreciated your ethics as my Dr. and am touched by your love of your wife and your honesty…you will get through this.
Dr Paul and family, it breaks my heart every week when I read your post…and then I feel ashamed of myself for the defects in myself , then I’m astounded at your faith, love, and total candor while going thru one of the worst times of your life. Keeping you all in our prayers, Dianne & Darrell
I am thankful you can share your journey with us. We lived through a similar journey two years ago… and with God at the helm, it was bearable. You all continue to be in our daily prayers, most especially the comfort and healing for dear Theresa. Your honesty, Dr. Williams, is so touching. I am seeing what my husband must have felt. You are a blessing to your precious family. I am praying 3 John 1:2 over Theresa, among other scriptures, that were prayed over me. You are In His Grip…
Thank you for sharing more of your journey Paul. I too have never liked roller coasters as you are at their mercy, getting tossed about, terrified, sick, and find yourself wanting to get off the whole time. I am proud of you two for having the courage to face the chemo coaster. It is a long miserable ride which I am praying has good rewards along the way for your family. Prayers are with you for strength, rest, healing, and peace as you continue this journey together. Please give Theresa a hug from me. May your week be blessed as you reflect anew on God’s love and sovereign plan for your lives.
Your faith inspires me. I pray the week ahead will give your family more rest and peace.
Paul, Theresa & Family
Our prayer is and has been that God will give you strength and peace through this difficult journey. You are such a godly example for all of us.
We love all of you,
Mag & Roy
Thank you for your ongoing testimony of faith. Our Lord is always with us, no matter what, and will never leave us or forsake us. His Word is true. I have been there–with the anguish, the hope, the small and huge miracles, the ups and downs, the intense trials…the what ifs… Yet, through it all, He is with us. His love is beyond anything we can imagine; and someday it will all make sense.
All of you so often on my heart ….. Praying …..