Doctor Paul, MD

A small-town doctor working to preserve the art of old-fashioned primary care.

You are here: Home / Dealing with Loss / Dealing with loss

Dealing with loss

October 19, 2019 by Paul Williams 7 Comments

Thank you Father for your faithfulness, loving kindness, and answer to our prayers. Thank you for the comfort you provide directly and through your children. Thank you all for your kindness and prayers.

I thought I would continue to blog as there is much to say about the grieving process and the love of God and His children. I hope to blog maybe weekly or bimonthly or so.

I want to thank all of you for attending Theresa’s Celebration of life, for your kind comments, for your continued prayer for our family, and for all the comforting cards. I am overwhelmed by the number of people who have taken time out of their day to either pray, write cards, or come to the celebration of life. We are greatly loved, which has been obviously recognized by our family. The more love is given the way, the more love permeates your whole being. It is a paradox that the more love is given away, the more love you have. There is nothing else in this world that works this way, everything else is limited and degrades.

I ended up taking two weeks off work. With my grieving, there was also much to occupy my time. After Theresa passed early Tuesday morning, October 8th, I felt it necessary to move fairly quickly with the services for her. We were able to get the death certificate filled out fairly quickly, was able to work with the funeral home and cemetery on Tuesday to line up what needed to be done to accomplish this time line. With help from family, we wrote the obituary, things about Theresa for the Celebration of life, lined up the video by Ciara, and put together the video collage. It made for a busy week. Two of our boys who were in Oregon came home on Wednesday and our oldest Friday at noon. We had Theresa’s graveside service Friday afternoon with our pastor, a military honor guard from McCord AFB, family members’ and members of our small group from church. It was a very touching service. Saturday was the Celebration of life, a link to it is on the previous blog, which many of you came and shared this with us. Sunday the kids and I and Matthew’s friend went out for breakfast, had a devotional on Psalms 91, and a time of prayer. Then our oldest went back to school and the younger two boys left a little later in the day for bible school.

Sunday evening was just the two of us, our daughter and me. I am finding evenings are the hardest. I have been keeping busy during the day, but the evenings when we used to relax together and have our talks are really hard now. I can say though, God was so good to provide a daughter to us, for she has been good company. Otherwise it would be a large empty house that would probably make the grieving even worse. The dogs have helped too.

A day or two before Theresa passed, we talked about Boo, the dog she had gotten me, and that I probably would have her keep me company on the bed at nights. She knew that is what I would need, otherwise the bed would be too large, too cold, too empty. Boo has helped.

This week I kept busy organizing Theresa’s things, and decluttering. There are things that are Theresa’s alone, that I felt best to give away sooner than later such as her clothes, makeup, craft items, and the like. I could have waited longer, but as I had taken another week off and because it felt like the right thing for me to do, I was busy all week. My mother came over a few of those days to help. She has been a great help and support, and has had us over multiple times to eat – I think she thinks we will starve otherwise.

Today members of our care group came over and helped me with organizing Theresa’s clothes and other items to take to three different thrift shops in the area. It was so helpful to have them come, and help me with this difficult task. Theresa kept clothes from way back when we were dating. She had great taste and there were many comments on the beautiful outfits she had put together. I am blessed to be able to share her superb choices in clothing, makeup and other items to others in the community who can enjoy them as well.

There is no doubt over time healing occurs. In the last week of Theresa’s life we wept together and alone at night. The weeping is less frequent now and not nearly as intense. I have felt comforted and loved. I have felt your prayers and God answering them with increasing peace and quieting of my soul. He has met me in my quiet times. I don’t grieve for Theresa, for her hope is fulfilled and praise be to God for that hope, for that promise. I grieve for the kids and I. For 26 years Theresa and I did everything together, we shared responsibilities, we also had different roles too with the kids. Mom’s are nurturing, always thinking about their kids.

I grieved our kids loss of their mother and not only what she meant to them, but what she did with them. I didn’t take into account her investment in others, and other’s investment in us. We have a number of people who are filling in where Theresa left off. A classmate’s family is taking our daughter to school, my brother-in-law is instructing our daughter to drive, now that she has her permit, others are befriending her. The boys have friends and their families looking out for them as well. We are the recipients of an abundance of love. I am humbled and grateful to you for taking in our family as part of yours.

My parents have been an integral part of are family from the day we moved to Centralia, 20 years ago. The kids grew up always around them, and my parents took them on trips with them, made cookies with them, were engaged in all their activities. Mom is keeping that engagement going, by the meals, helping us out, and keeping contact with the boys through regular texting. Again we have been blessed.

God has provided. Roman’s Chapter 8 explains this. We have been given the Holy Spirit. The spirit of Christ lives in us. With the Spirit helping us be spiritually minded we gain life and peace. There is no comparison between the present hard times and the coming good times. The joyful anticipation deepens. We wait with eager hope for that day. God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose. God is for us, who can ever be against us? Nothing can separate us from Him, not trouble, not hard times. Nothing can get between us and God’s love because of the way that Jesus our Master has embraced us.

Thank you for your continued prayers and support of our family.

Share this:

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Email
  • Print

Filed Under: Dealing with Loss

Comments

  1. Joe Stanczak says

    October 20, 2019 at 1:28 pm

    Praying

    Reply
  2. Tim Aldrich says

    October 20, 2019 at 4:13 pm

    We’re praying for you each day that learning how to navigate these new waters becomes a little easier with each passing day.

    Reply
  3. Toni Belveal says

    October 21, 2019 at 8:39 am

    Dr. Paul, thank you for teaching us that God always and forever has us in His hands. I have been going through a similar challenge with my husband for a couple of years, and you will never know how much reading your blog has helped and encouraged me. Your faith and your talent of communicating God’s mercy and love has been a blessing to so many. I continue to pray for you and your family. Thank you for continuing your blog.

    Reply
  4. Kim Wamsley says

    October 23, 2019 at 10:19 pm

    Dr. Paul, We are thinking and praying for you all .

    Reply
  5. Candace Horch says

    October 24, 2019 at 1:59 pm

    Thank you for keeping your blog going… we all have to grieve our losses in this life and to have you share your journey is so helpful to so many. We have a big God who grieves with us, and without the spirit’s encouragement we would be lost. You are continually in our prayers.

    Reply
  6. Kathleen Spencer says

    October 25, 2019 at 6:56 am

    I am so thankful for the comfort of the Holy Spirit and the touch of His people on your life during Paul during this season of extreme sorrow. He indeed is an ever present help in times of trouble. I was thinking the other day that God sure knew what He was doing when you were led to adopt Ashleigh yrs ago. He knew she needed you & Theresa, and she knew that you & Theresa needed her to make life a lot more special.
    Just about the time my home was empty I became the support person for a very shy research dog on prozac, who has grown into his name of Samson. He has provided me with much needed companionship and he has received the security of a loving home. I am glad Theresa had the forethought to provide you with Boo!
    My prayers continue for you and the kids Paul as you maneuver the days and weeks ahead, and as always if there is anything I can help with please let me know….Kathy

    Reply
  7. Jan Gerber says

    October 27, 2019 at 6:24 am

    Theresa . . . a beautiful, angelic soul! Our paths crossed a few times over the years and she always made me feel so special as I am sure she treated many other people. Because of your blogs, Dr. Paul, she was a light to your family. I have learned also from your writings how much you praise our Heavenly Father for your daily living. He will continue to be your comforter in your severe loss and will be with you to provide for your needs.

    I was so surprised to see that Theresa was attending Special Friends Camp at Warm Beach! She was in remission two years after she was diagnosed with cancer, a miracle in itself. We were all ‘buddies’ to the attending campers and had special camp names. Theresa was ‘Chipper’ and she obviously lived up to that name, relying on God to sustain her through a very timultuous time in life. Matthew was ‘Stache’, shortened from moustache because he had grown one to make himself look a little older and wiser. Ashleigh was ‘Panda’ and I remember that she wore her beautiful hair in different styles every day. It was a unique time for me to get to know them a little better and see the special bonds in your family.

    There is joy in knowing that Theresa suffers no more and there is also joy in the hope that you will see her again in heaven someday. I have been so encouraged by your writings, Dr. Paul, about the true meaning of God’s love and I pray that you will continue to sense His presence and experience ongoing peace.

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Categories

  • Alternative View Points (3)
  • Background (3)
  • Breast Cancer – our new normal (90)
  • Dealing with Loss (19)
  • Direct Care (8)
  • Healthcare facts (5)
  • Medicine in the News (5)
  • Practice of Medicine (10)
  • Uncategorized (2)
  • Why Change (1)

Recent Posts

  • Conclusion December 19, 2020
  • Content whatever the circumstances November 14, 2020
  • Life’s defining moments September 27, 2020
  • More Firsts; more to come July 14, 2020
  • Thoughts on perspective May 31, 2020
  • It still is a struggle May 3, 2020
  • Uncertain times, solid faith March 30, 2020
  • Sustaining love March 8, 2020

About Doctor Paul

Dr. Paul Williams, MD is a small-town family practice doctor working in Centralia, Washington. He works from the same office where his primary care practice was established by his father over 38 years ago. He believes strongly that the art of the old-fashioned primary care doctor is an important feature of our medical system that should be preserved and protected from excess interference from insurance companies and government regulation alike.

Due to changes in the health care industry and regulations affecting it, and in an effort to preserve the art of old-fashioned primary care, Dr. Paul has shifted his practice to a Direct Care model, meaning that patients pay an affordable monthly fee to purchase primary care health care services directly, rather than having their services billed through an insurance company.

This blog is intended to help Dr. Paul's patients (and anyone else!) understand the changes the medical industry is going through, and to provide information about the Direct Care model of primary care.

Copyright © 2021 · Dr. Paul Williams, M.D.

Copyright © 2021 · Doctor Paul, MD on Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in

loading Cancel
Post was not sent - check your email addresses!
Email check failed, please try again
Sorry, your blog cannot share posts by email.