Thank you Father for your continual help. Thank you for your closeness and joy that is ours despite our circumstances. Thank you for your many promises. And thank you to all of you for your walking with us these past 5 years.
I have been thinking about concluding this blog. I initially started my blog to describe the frustrating changes in healthcare and why I switched to a Direct Care model, but when Theresa was diagnosed with breast cancer, I switched to sharing our journey and keeping you up to date with what was going on in our hearts and minds. Then when we thought Theresa had beat the cancer, I took a break from blogging until the cancer once again reared its head and took her life eight months later. I have kept up the blog these past 14 months through the grieving process and sharing with you how God has met us and worked with us in the midst of it all.
I think I have come to the end of my blogging. I believe the grieving process will last a long time and I don’t feel that I have much more to say. We are now in the second anniversary of holidays without Theresa. The loss is no less, her absence is still greatly felt and the anticipation of the holidays missing. I still find evenings and weekends hard. I still find my motivation lacking and I try to fill my down time with studying, exercising, and reading. The kids are getting along ok, plugging on with their studies. Matthew though is taking a break from school. I see our lives being much of the same for the up coming years, so don’t see much that would be worth writing about.
Life will be forever changed, an unanticipated turn in our earthly journey that will leave its lasting impact on our lives. There is no getting over it, just learning to live with it and making adaptations because of it. I think it will be a slow process with both forward and backward motion. Holidays, birthdays, anniversaries will continue to be especially hard.
Knowing this, I feel it is time to stop blogging. I can say that Christ has inhabited our home. He is our joy and hope. He has been gracious, merciful and loving. His Peace has been ours. He has given us courage to keep on living, though differently. He has been our closest companion, our daily help, and blessed us beyond measure on a daily basis.
Our position in Christ is that we are made perfect as we are covered with his perfection (righteousness), but in practice we are imperfect because of our humanness. In life we grow, and allow Christ to mold us into increasing Christlikeness, a process that has different seasons.
Thank you all for your prayers over the years, for holding our family up in your hearts. We are grateful for you, having been blessed by your love and friendship. May God bless you exceedingly with great spiritual blessings, with His unfathomable grace and His peace that surpasses all understanding. All praise and honor are yours Father. Thank you for contentment in You irrespective of our earthly circumstances. And that in Christ we have already passed from death to life and are heavenly focused.