Thank you Father for your continual help. Thank you for your closeness and joy that is ours despite our circumstances. Thank you for your many promises. And thank you to all of you for your walking with us these past 5 years.
I have been thinking about concluding this blog. I initially started my blog to describe the frustrating changes in healthcare and why I switched to a Direct Care model, but when Theresa was diagnosed with breast cancer, I switched to sharing our journey and keeping you up to date with what was going on in our hearts and minds. Then when we thought Theresa had beat the cancer, I took a break from blogging until the cancer once again reared its head and took her life eight months later. I have kept up the blog these past 14 months through the grieving process and sharing with you how God has met us and worked with us in the midst of it all.
I think I have come to the end of my blogging. I believe the grieving process will last a long time and I don’t feel that I have much more to say. We are now in the second anniversary of holidays without Theresa. The loss is no less, her absence is still greatly felt and the anticipation of the holidays missing. I still find evenings and weekends hard. I still find my motivation lacking and I try to fill my down time with studying, exercising, and reading. The kids are getting along ok, plugging on with their studies. Matthew though is taking a break from school. I see our lives being much of the same for the up coming years, so don’t see much that would be worth writing about.
Life will be forever changed, an unanticipated turn in our earthly journey that will leave its lasting impact on our lives. There is no getting over it, just learning to live with it and making adaptations because of it. I think it will be a slow process with both forward and backward motion. Holidays, birthdays, anniversaries will continue to be especially hard.
Knowing this, I feel it is time to stop blogging. I can say that Christ has inhabited our home. He is our joy and hope. He has been gracious, merciful and loving. His Peace has been ours. He has given us courage to keep on living, though differently. He has been our closest companion, our daily help, and blessed us beyond measure on a daily basis.
Our position in Christ is that we are made perfect as we are covered with his perfection (righteousness), but in practice we are imperfect because of our humanness. In life we grow, and allow Christ to mold us into increasing Christlikeness, a process that has different seasons.
Thank you all for your prayers over the years, for holding our family up in your hearts. We are grateful for you, having been blessed by your love and friendship. May God bless you exceedingly with great spiritual blessings, with His unfathomable grace and His peace that surpasses all understanding. All praise and honor are yours Father. Thank you for contentment in You irrespective of our earthly circumstances. And that in Christ we have already passed from death to life and are heavenly focused.
Thank you for sharing your story… many have been helped in their own lives by your testimony, without doubt. God is central to your life and your family’s and with Him you’ll always come out on top. May you all continue to feel His presence.
I’m so sorry I will no longer be receiving your blog. You really need to take your blog and write a book. You have so much wisdom and have an amazing way of sharing it with the world! My father believed God allows us to go through things so we can help others when they need it.
I wish you and your family an extraordinary Christmas, enjoying your family❣
Love, Darrell & Dianne
Lovan
Thank you Paul for your blog over the past 5 yrs and your transparency in allowing us to walk alongsde you, Theresa, and family during this difficult journey. I know that even though your blogging will stop our need to continue to support you & your family in prayer will continue for some time. You & your family will be thought of & prayed for often. Blessings my friend
Paul thank you for sharing your journey. I know it has been a long painful road and one that continues. My heart goes out to you. It is so uplifting to know that in the middle of your deep sorrow, God has been your rock and shield. It is good to know that sorrow and faith can exist together. You have demonstrated that reality. I pray for God’s continued comfort and peace. I love you friend and I’m blessed to be your brother in Christ.
All my love and prayers.
Thank you for sharing this journey with us. Your blogs have touched me far deeper than I can even begin to say. Always you and your family will be in my heart and in my prayers.
You could always change the blog into a help blog. With things like How to age gracefully. You could put things in it about diet, exercise, maybe which over the counter meds are ok to use. Or just anything you want to talk about being healthy. Maybe you could just answer some questions people want to ask. There are all kinds of topics that could be discussed.
It has been good to be able to hear from you even though your journey has been a very hard one.
You so beautifully portray what the loss of a beloved spouse (and parent) is like. I lost my husband of 44 years six years ago. Well said that life is forever changed. Thank you for your deep sharing. I know personally that no one can truly understand our loss; our relationship is unknowable except to us. Grieving is not something anyone else can carry us through, except for the presence and comfort of Christ. Thank you.
Dr Paul , Thank you for sharing your blog all these years . We will keep you in our thoughts and prayers.
Paul, thank you so much for sharing your journey. I’m so grateful that I got to pray through Theresa’s illness with you, knowing enough details to pray specifically. I was personally encouraged through your journal and I shared some of it with a close friend who is also grieving the loss of her spouse.
I will always pray for you and your children. I will always love Theresa. Until we all meet again, I pray we realize how closely he holds us, how tenderly he loves us, and how short our opportunities to do good while we are here really are. You have been a beautiful example by faithfully praising him, and using even your darkest moments to give God glory.
Sincerely,
Debbie
Thanks for allowing us to walk beside you…i believe we all walk through loss of many types…
It’s been helpful to walk with you…and pray for your family…you’re a very good writer…and when the time is right…i believe you will blog again…praying for your JOY to be restored in this new normal of LIVING…a fresh wind of the Holy Spirit to Lift the heavy weight of grief and give you strength for this next season of your life.
I am thankful the Lord has used you these years to testify to His faithfulness through the very hard times you’ve experienced, which has inspired many. He will have more ministries for you in the years ahead to use for His glory. May He bless you richly as you continue to serve Him in your continuing journey (including the parenting of your four children into adulthood, as physician, etc.). …Having also journeyed through some very difficult losses I am more able to see how much Hope the Word of God has for us. Psalm 25:4 says, “Show me your ways, O LORD, and teach me.. my hope is in you all day long.” Unshakable Hope by Max Lucado was chosen by a group of people who asked me to lead a grief group. It’s all about the Lord’s Promises to us…