Once again I am humbled and thank you all for your prayers, cards, and help during these difficult days. God is good all the time.
Last Thursday Theresa received her first dose of chemo, a combination of herceptin – and antibody, and taxotere a true chemo agent. Because of Theresa’s weakness and nutritional status, her Oncologist decided to give her only 1/2 the dose this time. Once again we had some difficulty. Theresa knew that benadryl effected her differently than most, instead of sedating her it causes severe agitation and restless legs. She got a high dose IV and was miserable the four hours she was there. She was also given IV steroids to limit the chance of allergic response. Well, we found out that she responds poorly to steroids as well. It caused severe panic attacks and insomnia. She had to take another dose of steroids the next day, so it was three days before her panic and anxiety calmed down enough to relax, her insomnia took longer to improve. It wasn’t until Sunday evening that she felt somewhat better again. For her next dose This coming Thursday, will use a lower dose of steroids the day before, during and the day after and try a different antihistamine she has used before. If she has the same response, then will have to switch out the taxotere to a newer agent that doesn’t need the premedication. Today is a good day, spirits are good, though she is very tired and just walking in the house tires her.
We had a second opinion today from another Oncologist. He is in agreement with the care we are currently getting, no new thoughts. He reiterated (from a human wisdom perspective – which is very limited) that Theresa’s cancer such as it is (aggressive, essentially no receptors to attach to), if treatment is successful, will give her about 2 years, without it or if not successful, maybe 2-4 months. The two years is optimal, if she can maintain her strength and nutritional status. The chemo has made her nauseated, caused her abdomen to hurt, giving her flu-like symptoms, achy bones and muscles and intermittent stabbing pain. She also now has blurred distance vision as well. Because of her history of headaches, we will be getting an MRI tomorrow.
Last night I couldn’t sleep, my emotions getting the best of me. I was pretty tearful during my devotions this morning. It is interesting that some days go well with emotions under control and other days, the emotions won’t stay under the surface and instead come out with ease. We are taking one day at a time, looking too far down the road causes too much pain. I too pray for a miracle, but as Christ prayed, not my will but Yours be done. We are surrendered. Obedience is required, but it doesn’t take away the pain or anguish. This hurts. I love my wife dearly. God has been here before with His son. He knows what it is like. He promised to walk with us, comfort us, help us. This obstacle is the way we must go. Down this path we must go and through it we will enter a deeper understanding of our maker.
Note from Theresa: Paul and I are deeply grateful for all of you who have been lifting us up in prayer. We want to thank everybody. I have been too weak and exhausted to write thank-you letters, but please know how much your words of encouragement have meant to both of us. We are blessed to have such amazing brothers and sisters in Christ. God is so good. With love, Theresa.