Thank you Father for another good week and thank you all for your continued thoughts and prayers.
Theresa had another good week. She had her infusion Thursday and other than fatigue and GI upset she has been doing well. She continues to have the 10,000 pin pricks when the Lyrica wears off, which we are hoping one day will go away. Her next infusion in 3 weeks will be her last with the Perjeta. I would suspect, in the next 4-6 weeks she will have an MRI of the liver done. It is anticipated, that if that scan is negative, then she will continue Herceptin every 3 weeks for the next 18 months or so and possibly an anti-estrogen pill daily as well. We will know more soon. Theresa is getting out more, though not on her own. It’s nice to have together time. Two side effects from the Chemo that hasn’t improved at all is the numbness in her feet and the Chemo brain. The foot numbness has made it hard for her to walk without holding on to someone or something. She finds that she gets off balance easily. The chemo brain has been tough for her as well. She used to have an impeccable memory, but these days she tends to forget a good number of things. I’m not sure if this will be the new normal, or temporary. Compared to the initial prognosis, these problems are doable. It is all a matter of perspective. Accomplishing less in a day, taking more time to make a meal, taking more time looking for things misplaced, adding a nap here and there is worlds better than not being able to do anything. As we found out years ago on a trip to New Orleans, you can go through life hyperactive on caffeine as was the pace, for us, in California at the time, or slow, relaxed, unconcerned about time and what is accomplished as we experienced in New Orleans, or maybe somewhere in between. What ever the speed, life can be enjoyed, because life is worth living, its value is not in things accomplished but in the Father who blesses us with it.
I’ve had a few people comment that we “didn’t deserve this”, and implying I should be angry at God. On the contrary, this too is a matter of perspective. Be careful what you pray for, for the path to the answer maybe very difficult -yet well worth it. For many years I have prayed, like many of you, that God would prune me, refine me, mold me and use me. That he would draw me into a deeper communion with Him. A couple of my readings this week from Streams in the Desert expand upon this idea. “Often it is simply the answers to our prayers that cause many of the difficulties in the Christian life. We pray for patience and our Father sends demanding people our way… We pray for a submissive spirit and God sends suffering again…We pray to be unselfish and God gives us opportunities to sacrifice by placing other people’s needs first…We pray for strength and humility and “messenger of Satan” comes to torment us… we pray for God to increase our faith, then our money seems to take wings and fly away; our children become critically ill; an employee becomes careless, slow and wasteful; or some other new trial comes upon us , requiring more faith than we have every had before…We pray for a Christlike life and we are asked to perform some lowly task, or are unjustly accused…We pray for gentleness and quickly face a storm of temptation to be harsh and irritable…We pray for quietness and suddenly every nerve is stressed to its limit…We pray for love for others and God sends us people who are difficult to love…Yes, we pray to be like Jesus and God’s answer is: “I have tested you in the furnace of affliction (Isa.48:10); “will your courage endure or your hands be strong?” (Ezek. 22:14); “Can you drink the cup?” (Matt. 20:22). The way to peace and victory is to accept every circumstance and every trial as being straight from the land of our loving Father…our circumstances as being lovingly and divinely appointed.” Another reading by Christina Rossetti, stated that Martin Luther once said, “A true believer will crucify, or put to death the question, “Why?” He will simply obey without questioning.” Ours not to make reply, Ours not to reason why, Ours but to do and die. Obedience is the fruit of faith; patience is the early blossom on the tree of faith.” God is good all the time. I would pray a million times over for the same pruning path he has given. For He is answering my prayer, he is pruning, refining, molding, using and drawing into a deeper communion with Him. And in the process His armor is ours (Eph 6:10-19), the Fruit of His Spirit grow sweeter still (Gal 5:22), and Christ likeness becomes our greater passion, recklessly abandoning ourselves, our small mindedness, and self-centered thoughts. He is faithful and true. All things work together for good (not ease) for those who love God (Romans 8:28). May these words encourage you to “keep on”, to persevere, to live in gratitude – irrespective the circumstances you find yourself in.
Thank you for being on this journey with us and for continuing to keep us in prayer.