Thank you Father for this time to mourn, regroup and refocus on you. Thank you for your word, the renewing of the mind and body. Thank you all for your prayers and being part of this journey.
It has been 6 weeks since Theresa went home. Initially the mourning and loss was intense, and evenings and weekends lonely and difficult. Each week was less intense, and then it got harder the past couple of weeks. Interesting after 45 days of mourning the loss, God took the darkness, sadness, and replaced it with peace, joy and a refocus on living life today.
I believe the prayers, the living word of God, the books by Sittser, the cards, words of encouragement, love expressed, and my dependence on Christ have all worked together to heal the pain and persevere on the journey set before my kids and me. Thank you for how you all play a roll in that. God is doing the work, not me. I am so thankful for His kindness, grace, and love expressed to us.
I realize Theresa is where she was meant to be. Her priorities and dreams are different than they were here. What was important here, isn’t at all important there. She now lives outside of time and knows the whole story, understands and is content, at peace, full of Joy. What an awesome thought. I am so happy for her and some day I will join her in that joy.
I also realized is mourning is self serving and self focused. It becomes all about me and what I lost, my dreams dashed, my expectations of what my life will be. Mourning is important, but there comes a time to start looking outside yourself again, look at the beautiful life we have been given and begin living it again. Those in Christ are already living in eternity, our story redeemed, our story part of the His story.
The kids are doing alright. Matthew is home and gaining in strength and focus. The older two will be home for Thanksgiving and our daughter is doing well. God has answered both our prayers and been our help through all of this.
Philip Yancey writes in Grace notes: “…My friend Douglas has lived a Job-like existence in many ways, experiencing the failure of a ministry, his wife’s death from cancer, and his own and a child’s injuries by a drunk driver. Yet Douglas advises, “Don’t confuse God with life.”
“When doubts arise, I often turn to that great chapter by Paul, Romans 8, “Who shall separate us from the love of Christ?” asks Paul. “Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?” In that one sentence, the apostle Paul summaries his ministry autobiography. He endured all those trials for the sake of the gospel, and yet somehow he had the faith to believe that these “things” – surely not good in themselves – could nevertheless be used by God to accomplish good.”
“The apostle Paul had learned to see past the hardships of life to a loving God who will one day prevail.”
Thank you for your continued prayers and friendships. May you have a blessed Thanksgiving with your families. There is much to be thankful for.